Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Why introspect when you can just click swatches?

I rediscovered an old internet fascination of mine: Colorgenics. After clicking on a set of colored blocks in whatever order seems "right", it spits out a somewhat vague and generalized assessment of your current state of being. Here are my results from two "tests" tonight:

One

You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.

You are looking for something different. Your imagination has been working overtime and you are seeking adventure - and you'd like to share that adventure, the new experience, with someone like yourself: Imaginative, Enthusiastic and Sensitive.

Everyone has to compromise at times and circumstances are such that at this time you are feeling the need to do just that. Put all of your hopes on the back burner and let matters flow for a time - forgo some of the things you want. The good times are just around the corner.

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.


Two

Is it that you are working - or even playing - too hard? Because it would seem that you are experiencing a great deal of pent-up emotion at this time which could possibly take effect and lead to irrational behaviour.

You need an atmosphere of peace and quiet and you would like to share a bond of understanding with the 'right person' - you have the belief that with the right person, your stress and anxiety could be minimised.

At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.

You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'.

The need for admiration and to be regarded as 'someone special' is perhaps one of the foremost aims in your life at this time. You would like to perhaps do something outrageous or anything that will give you the chance to be recognised as someone special. This desire has now almost become an obsession and in your own way you are trying to fulfil this 'complex' by ensuring you are the centre of attention, both at work or play, or in the home. Stop trying so hard and you will find that people will like you for who you are - not for who you are pretending to be.




Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I suppose it's time for an update...

First, I'd like to state the obvious: "Well, it's been a while since I've made a post on here..." Now that I've gotten that out of the way, on to the update.

It's been a hectic few months. I wound up finding a job which I actually like (most of the time), doing what I actually wanted to do with my life. Shocking! I'm an in-house web developer for a company that will remain nameless, because I don't particularly want my coworkers to find this blog.

One thing I will say, though, is that the average age of the company's employees is shockingly low, and the work environment has a strange frat-house feel to it. And not in a particularly pleasant way (at least in my humble opinion). Basically, it's like being back in high school, with most of the company being the "cool jock" crowd, and IT being the "basement-dwelling D&D player" crowd. Except we enable the "cool jocks" to earn a living, so they don't give us wedgies.

That aside, I enjoy the actual work, I get along well with my fellow IT-ers (and a few of the older non-IT staff members), and I don't really have to interact with the employees who think we're lowly geeks. Plus I can work from home when I want/need to, and I get as much overtime as my little heart desires. Long-term, I'm not sure how permanent it's going to be, but for the next year or two it's exactly what I want and need.

Next week classes start back up for me, and to be honest, I'm dreading it. Full-time job + half-time academics = tired, no matter how often I can work from home. Beyond that, I just feel emotionally and mentally done with school. I've been at it 5 years. I've got my foot in the door of the industry I was hoping to enter. And at this point, I've gained about as much as I can from theoretical education -- at least for the time being.

I'm also nervous that it's going to interfere with my job. Like I said, it's not perfect, but I do enjoy it, and it pays the bills.

Time will tell, I guess.