- When I was 6, I spent hours playing with my friend's easy bake oven. And spent the next 6 or 7 years asking for one for Christmas. (Incidentally, I still want my damn easy bake oven. Cough it up, Santa.)
- When I was 7, my favorite toy was a skip-it. And my second favorite toy was gimp. (You know, that flat plastic string used to make lanyards and bracelets. What exactly is a lanyard, anyway?) My favorite colors of gimp were glitter, neon pink, and purple.
- Also? When I was 7, my favorite song was "From a Distance"...by Bette Midler.
- When I was 8, I watched Ghost with my family. This, in-and-of itself, is not a dead giveaway. However, when my mother noted that Patrick Swayze was cute, I said, "Yeah, he is!"
- When I was 9, I watched "The Golden Girls" and "Murder, She Wrote" religiously.
- When I was 10, I was in the cub scouts. Again, not a notable sign of the homo-ness to come. Until, that is, you take into account the fact that I repeatedly got into trouble at meetings for getting into "pinch fights" with one of my troop-mates. The same one each time, actually. Does that mean we were a couple? If so, I think that may qualify as my least dysfunctional relationship of all time.
- When I was 11, I quit the school band, because the other children just couldn't learn the songs fast enough. I was such a diva.
- When I was 13, I borrowed my girlfriend's nail polish, and spent about 3 years with painted nails. Did I mention that the aforementioned girlfriend (the only one I ever had) now has a girlfriend of her own, and they're engaged? (Hi Crystal!)
- When I was 15, I wore blue glitter (and occasionally silver) lipstick, eyeliner, and eye shadow. I also bought a custom-made shirt that said: (Front) "Yes, I'm Gay" and (Back) "No, I wasn't checking you out".
- Finally, when I was 16, I painted "I ♥ MEN" on my book bag.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Top Ten Signs from my Childhood that I was Destined to be a Big ol' Queen
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