Note to self: shaving is not optional

My stomach and I had a brief disagreement this morning. Whereas I thought that a big bowl of Special K Red Berries was a wonderful idea, my digestive tract had a different stance. I believe that the disagreeable reaction was influenced by the cup of Green Mountain French Vanilla coffee I had at the same time, which was too sweet even for my taste buds. The resultant falling out was brief, but rather unpleasant.

Because of the time and energy lost to that intense inner struggle, I went out to buy non-French-Vanilla coffee without shaving. To anyone reading this who may been at the Bed, Bath & Beyond, I offer my sincere apologies for having to see me in my sorry, unshaven state. (I have one of those fancy-pants coffee pod systems, so I couldn't just run to the local corner store.)

In the cold weather, I look a bit unkempt even on my best days. Despite growing up in Massachusetts, I cannot handle temperatures below 50, so my fashion sense takes a back seat to warmth. I try to buy clothes that are both warm and stylish, but they inevitably wind up looking like something rejected by the Salvation Army outlet when I put them on.

Mind you, if I'm going somewhere or doing something important enough to warrant either half an hour of readjusting layers and/or shivering any time I step outside, I can look decent enough. As long as I shave, that is. Add stubble to the equation, and it's just not a pretty picture. But I figured the mall at 10AM would have a fairly lax dress code. Oh, how wrong I was. Apparently the employees of Bed, Bath & Beyond are not accustomed to seeing unkempt men without a female companion strolling through the aisles at 10AM on a weekday.

I was greeted, and asked if I needed help, by each staff member I passed, each time I passed them. They refrained from explicitly reminding me that items need to be paid for and that the homeless shelter actually isn't located in the mall. Their tones and facial expressions, however, managed to convey that message perfectly well with a simple greeting.

Thank God tomorrow is supposed to be warm enough for clothes that don't make me look like a homegoods security risk.